Pretty Privilege

Since eighth grade my friend Dominique and I always discussed hosting a clothing swap. For the uninitiated, a clothing swap is an event to which guests bring their old clothes and swap them for the other guests' castoffs. Getting this event together was something that we were always semi-serious about. We liked the idea of free clothes and recycling, but always had the feeling that these sorts of events were only hosted by rom-com protagonists who somehow lived in Manhattan lofts on cupcake bakery salaries, not mere mortals like ourselves.

With college and summer on the horizon, though, our demand for clothes was increasing and our supply of capital was decreasing. This unique set of conditions allowed us to get into the perfect mindset for organizing a bona fide clothing swap. Coincidentally, I had noticed in one of my frequent perusals of the Seventeen website, that the Green Your Life! section was also pushing for readers to organize swaps.

This double coincidence was rom-com perfect. Dominique and I, along with our friend Mallory, finally organized the clothes swap, which was held last night at the upscale fashion boutique known as MyLivingRoomDiningRoomAndFoyer, thanks in part to the massive cooperation of my mom and dad.

The swap started at 6:00 pm. Between the three of us, Dom, Mal, and I invited about 150 people on Facebook, about half of whom replied attending or maybe attending. Honestly, we had no idea how many people were coming, which was incredibly frightening. Luckily, at 5:45 pm the sky let forth what can only be described as a torrential downpour, which led to only 20 girls showing up. Even more luckily, these 20 girls brought over 2000 articles of clothing. The swap was in business.

I wore a fishtail braid and Seventeen's suggested over-the-knee sock trend, which unfortunately wasn't captured in any photos. Once the swap was in fully swing, guests sorted their clothes and were allowed to take home as much as they felt they were entitled to, based on how much they brought. This system worked out surprisingly well. Uncharacteristic of rom-coms, there was no hair-pulling or cat-fighting between those two girls who both absolutely had to have that one pair of boots/earrings/pants. Everyone was amicable, and everyone who came went home with a big bag of clothes for free.

The swap ended at 9:00 pm and we spent the next hour bagging the unclaimed clothes. Overall, we managed to fill six trash bags with items to donate. Ideally, my friends wanted to give the leftover clothes to thrift stores that benefit victims of sexual assault and domestic violence who live in our region. Upon phoning those stores, I learned that they're overwhelmed with donations, and that a few of them actually send all incoming clothes to India on barges to be recycled. This is ridiculous and incredibly ironic, but I have better things to do than protest women's shelters for their poor environmental practices. I ended up putting the clothes into one of those metal boxes in the YMCA parking lot so that they could go to needy families in the area.

Hosting the swap got me thinking a lot about privilege. In stalking myself and this project a little bit in the press, I've noticed how some people are quick to discredit my opinions based on the fact that I come from a financially comfortable background, with access to opportunity. Privilege is defined as a special benefit not enjoyed by everyone. What I find interesting is the portion of this definition with which people find fault. I've noticed people tend to be more offended by the special benefit part than the fact that this benefit is not equally distributed. For example, I've noticed that people who cannot afford access to a private college are often quick to reject the merits of a private school, instead of considering that it could possibly be beneficial if the opportunity of private college were available to more people. (I am not saying I necessarily agree with either side of this dispute-- I am just saying that the system may not be the problem, but rather the lack of mass access to the system.)

The clothing swap was definitely an event that could only be hosted and attended by people with means enough to have spare clothes in good condition to swap-- people with some degree of privilege. I guess what I'm getting at is that instead of focusing on what opportunities privilege includes, we should be focusing more on who privilege excludes. Instead of calling privilege out as a negative trait, the far more progressive option would be to begin to work on ways to bring the opportunities that privilege provides to more people. By simply reframing the way that we think about and discuss privilege, it would lead to an environment far less conducive to finger pointing, and far more open to problem solving.

Edit: There is some good discussion going on in the comments!

NOT

Next week is finals week, so today I was back in school for my last "real" week of high school-- ever. I decided to try this outfit inspired by Audrey, a member of the Seventeen style council. I actually like the outfit on her, sort of, but I felt really out of character wearing it myself. My dad, who rarely makes any sort of contrary comment about anything I wear, seemed really confused about why I was wearing a shirt under a dress. So did a number of people at school. I know its just a basic layered outfit, but maybe this look is a little fashion forward for my small town. Then again, maybe I just couldn't pull it off. Either way, I don't think it's something I'll be wearing again. Felt a little early Madonna to me. Little bit too bubblegum pop.

Also wore this ribbon updo. This was really well received by all of my friends. I thought to myself, "Maybe I'm finally getting the hang of this 'normal teen' thing!"

Unfortunately, when I visited Seventeen.com to pull the above picture for this post, I realized how inaccurate my feelings were. Of all the beauty tips that I have tried, the one that had won me the most compliments in my personal life was a hairstyle voted as NOT by 82,000 people in the Seventeen world. I can't win.

Tonight I finished my last paper that I will ever have to write for high school, so I should have some time to put together some more in depth posts/projects etc. I've got a couple of interesting things in the works for the remainder of the project, as well as for afterward. Pretty excited...

9 days until grad!

Truant

Today my friend Erinn and I came down with some sudden cases of truancy, took the day off from school, and tried Seventeen's suggestion to go on a tandem bike ride. We couldn't get a tandem bike due to the last minute nature of this excursion, so we rode side by side on individual bikes on the canal towpath in Lambertville, NJ. My camera died on the trail, so our journey is undocumented. This is disappointing, because the recommendation was excellent. I have absolutely no complaints or criticism about it. Thanks Seventeen! I would love to see more things along these lines included in the future issues of the magazine.

In an effort to counterbalance the previous pro-Seventeen paragraph, I will have you know that for lunch I had a massive chocolate ice cream cone into which I dipped curly fries. Afterward, I did not talk about how fat I felt, or how "bad" I was for eating it. I will eat whatever I want in moderation, and I will not let any magazine's limited idea of what is beautiful stop me; I suggest you all do the same, or find another way of thinking that makes you feel good about being you!

Hope those of you currently experiencing summer climates are enjoying the warm weather.... I certainly am!

P.S. My friend Andy is working on an awesome academic project about self-evaluation and realization of power. He is under a tight deadline (Wednesday) and would REALLY appreciate if you could help him by taking his SHORT FUN SURVEY.

Senior Prom: Part 2

This post is part 2 of a 2 part post on prom. Go here for part 1.

90% of getting ready for prom is for the pictures. Once you actually get to the prom, it turns out that its a dark, sweaty room where everyone looks less good within 15 minutes of dancing.

I met my date, a close friend, at his house two hours before the prom start time. We live in a small town, on the same street, in a semi-urban setting. My house doesn't have a yard. His does, so we decided to do our first round of pictures there. My parents, my grandparents, and his mom were there. We did all of the standard prom poses with appropriate teenage awkwardness. We also took some great photos near an open trash can (which are still on his camera), which will probably turn out to be my favorite from the evening, due to their antiestablishment nature. You can save all of your jokes about ginger prom dates, we have heard them all. No, we did not go tanning before prom.

After an hour of picture taking at his house we headed to meet a large group of our friends at Fonthill, a whimsical poured-in-place concrete castle designed by local celebrity Henry Chapman Mercer. There, we had hors d'oeuvres, schmoozed, and complimented each other on how not ugly we all looked. Our parents, collectively, took 800 to 100,000 photos.

Me and Sir Date

Dominique's Boyfriend, Dominique, Me, Sir Mister Date Esq. PhD

A Mass Quantity of My Friends, Airborne

Erinn and her date drove me and my date to prom in her sleek 2000 Jetta. Prom was at a surprisingly nice country club. When we arrived, everyone was herded up a grand staircase to walk past security so that drunk kids could be weeded out and their lives could be subsequently ruined. Luckily, nobody at the prom got busted. This walk was a great opportunity to outfit snark. My date, though not a huge fan of fashion, is a huge fan of film and the Oscars, and he used this opportunity to do some red-carpet style fashion critique. Lots of girls wore looks straight out of Seventeen Prom. Tans were orange, makeup was overdone, dresses were skimpy, and boobs were overly prominent. The majority of people looked great though.

We were required to spend the first hour of prom eating. The menu included a salad, which I didn't touch, sourdough bread, and stuffed shells or lemon chicken. Nobody seemed excited to eat this food. Instead, there was a lot of polite, adult socializing, which was maybe the strangest part of the whole night. After, we were all let into the ballroom and we danced. The DJ wasn't very good, and played mostly oldies. Nothing made me feel closer to my peers than grinding to ABC by the Jackson 5. My date, who doesn't usually dance, danced with me the entire time, and even liked it. The room was a sauna of adolescent awkwardness, and we were very sweaty by the end of the evening. My hair eventually retreated to its natural fur-like texture and triangular shape. I didn't really care though, because I was having a great time.

Afterward, we headed to a party at Dominique's boyfriend's house, where we swam, talked, and stayed up until 5 am. In the morning, we had pancakes. As far as I know, most other social groups did similar things. I am not aware of anyone who died or got arrested. Maybe someone got pregnant, but we won't know for a few weeks. I'll let you know!

When I got home the next morning I was really excited to shower. Looking nice is fun, but after two days of makeup, sweating, and swimming I felt absolutely disgusting. I got home and showered. I pulled off my fake eyelashes, and some of my real eyelashes too. I put on sweatpants. It felt great to feel ugly.

In short, prom was awesome, but one prom per lifetime is probably enough for me. If you are younger than me and you are reading this, I definitely recommend that you go to your prom, but just keep it in perspective.

This post is part 2 of a 2 part post on prom. Go here for part 1.

Senior Prom: Part 1

This post is part 1 of a 2 part post on prom.

Friday night was my senior prom, which meant that Friday day was possibly the most labor intensive and expensive beauty process of my life thus far.

The day started off with school, but seniors and those attending prom were dismissed before lunch to get ready. This, though appreciated, seemed really weird to me. It was one of the first times in my life that looking good officially took a backseat to getting smart.

Thursday night I went to CVS and picked up some things to aid me on my journey to conventional hotness. My purchases included: toothbrushes, lotion, gum, false eyelashes, a loofah, Skintimates shaving lotion, and six blade disposable razors. I charged all of these things to my mother's credit card, and when I got home my mom was mad that I had spent $6.99 for only three razors. "Whatever," I told her. This was probably the first time that I was a brat in the name of silky smooth legs.

I shaved all Seventeen-endorsed parts (legs, pits, bikini-line) in a process that outlasted my hot water heater. I also exfoliated every square inch of my epidermis, lest my evening be overshadowed by the menace of dead skin cells. Then I lubed my body up with lotion and slithered my way out to my nail appointment.

I went with my friend Dominique to get our nails and toes done. By the time that we thought to make our appointments, all of the affordable places around town were booked, so we had to go somewhere on the upper end of the price spectrum. Thus, there were no other prom-goers in the salon when we were, just adult women, who were eager to swoon and squee over our impending prom. We both got french on our nails and Seventeen-suggested pastels on our toes (forgot to take a photo). We read magazines while we got our pedicures, and surprisingly I really enjoyed Lucky magazine, which just focused on fashion, and no bullshit tips on life or love. Lots of pictures of really great outfits, no man candy/diet tips/embarrassing stories. I managed to sit under the dryer for 10 minutes, which of course is never long enough. I walked around with my hands like dino-claws for approximately a half hour after I left the salon in fear of nicking my manicure.

After my nails I headed to meet my other friend Erinn to get my hair and makeup done. I've been going to my salon for about five years, and its one of those social center type salons that usually only exist in movies. As I sat and got my hair done, I knew every single person who came in the salon (ten people?), and I am by no means popular.

I wanted my hair done in some sort of sexy celebrity curls. I pulled a picture from the Seventeen website from an article entitled, "How to Get Bed Head Hair." My bed head hair, obviously, does not look like this. Nonetheless, my stylist did a pretty good job at coming up with something similar for my texture that dealt with the humidity we are experiencing here and my awkward length bangs.

Afterward, I had my makeup done. At this point, I was really tired of sitting, and had no idea what I wanted for my makeup. My general instructions for the day were, "Please make me look conventionally attractive." My only explicit request was false eyelashes. Looking hot apparently required several different layers of various powders and potions. I felt like I had too much makeup on, but everyone in the salon, including my father, assured me that I looked great and not at all tacky, so I just went along with it.

In the salon, I ate a massive chicken salad with guacamole and oranges. A few people made comments about how surprised they were that I was eating on the day of my prom. As far as I was aware, my body still required calories for energy on this day, so I was still going to eat.

At the end of the week, my beauty treatments broke down as such:

Time

Waxing: 20 minutes

Hair Removal/Shower: 1 hour

Manicure/Pedicure: 1.5 hours

Hair: 2 hours

Makeup: 45 minutes

TOTAL: 4.45 hours (I didn't go tanning, I know a lot of people went a few times a week for the entire month before prom)

Money

Dress: $130

Shoes: $42

Jewelry: $42

Waxing: $20

Hair Styling: $70

Makeup Application: $50

False Eyelash Application: $10

Manicure: $15

Pedicure: $40

Assorted CVS Products: $42.50

TOTAL: $461.50

My awesome date paid for my $65 prom ticket, as well as his own. (I offered, I swear, as did most girls that I know.) My awesome mom paid for ALL of the above expenses. The entire cost of this years prom's beauty treatments still managed to cost less than my $500 junior prom dress. I am all about transparency here. This is an entirely ridiculous expenditure, and I am incredibly fortunate to have parents who can afford it.

This entire time-consuming and expensive day led to a lot of discussions in the salon about celebrity. Every single young woman in the salon who I talked to said it would suck to have to go through this beautification process on a weekly, or even daily basis. Makes me feel good, though, that when I see celebrities in US Weekly looking far better than I do, that now I know it is the result of a labor-intensive, time-consuming, and expensive process. Very few people, if any, look like this naturally. Being physically beautiful is truly a job.

Click here for part 2 of this 2 part post on prom.

No posts until Saturday due to tonight's spontaneous surge of schoolwork, followed by tomorrow night's prom.

Will update Saturday with lots of prom commentary. (prommentary?)

-Jamie

Waxing/Waning

Today was a hugely busy day for me. I woke up late for school and had to rush out the door with my hair in a ponytail and no makeup. I did, however, use this opportunity to try out the romper--the thinking man's unitard-- a trend that Seventeen online swoons over. After all, what could be better for a person with no time for fashion than an article of clothing that comes all in one piece? World's easiest outfit, except for peeing. In that forum its the world's most difficult outfit. Unfortunately, I didn't get to snap a picture of myself a-rompin'. I did, however, capture my onesie, er, romper, on video. (See below.)

I spent the better half of my afternoon engaged in prom related activities. I went to the florist to order my boutonnière. I researched hairstyles online. I got my eyebrows waxed.

Seventeen Prom suggested that I shape my brows 5 days before prom. I wasn't aware of this timetable until I got the magazine yesterday, so it came as a shock to me when I realized how far behind schedule I was!

I was going to pluck my eyebrows myself, but I figured that since I was running behind on the schedule it might be okay to get them waxed at a salon, that way I wouldn't have to worry about them turning out poorly. Not wanting to defy Seventeen in any way, though, I consulted with the website before committing to waxing. It turns out that Seventeen does approve of waxing, or at least that's the conclusion that I drew from this article on their website. I decided to go for it.

The ladies over at Salon 39 were kind enough to let me record the ordeal. Honestly, the video is pretty boring. Its 15 solid minutes of hair removal. I'll admit, laying on a plastic table in a toddler outfit getting hairs ripped out of my face with hot wax is not one of my proudest moments. Still, I decided to post it to make up for the lack of romper pictures.

**Not to be a huge tease, but I can't figure out how to upload a YouTube video that is more than 10 minutes, and I don't know how to edit a Quicktime movie to a shorter length. Thus, there is no video for now. Here is a still from it. If someone can help me out a little (tutorial somewhere?) it would be greatly appreciated!**

Here is the after picture:

They look pretty good I think. I was worried about getting that perpetually surprised look, but I think I'm in the clear. Please excuse the non-Seventeen-approved frizz. The humidity here is killing me.

Some other (non-waxing) stuff:

• I did an interview with the nice people over at I Heart Daily. Click the link if you want to read it.
• CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS: I am looking to create a list of teen friendly products and media that "get it." I hope for this list to serve as a resource to girls (and parents) who are looking for an alternative to the stuff marketed at teens today. If you know of any movies/books/media/institutions that seem to understand teenagers in a way that Seventeen doesn't, please send your recommendations my way! These don't necessarily need to be media created for teens, just media that is accurate of its portrayal and understanding of the teenage experience. If you are company that makes an innovative, teen-friendly product, also feel free to contact me. I'll link to everyone that contributes!