Gay Teens (Not) In Seventeen

Friday's graph-heavy post on hot guys ended up generating a lot of discussion in the comments about how there appears to be a lack of attention, or even recognition, of LGBT girls in Seventeen. I'll state now, at the outset of this post, that I don't believe that Seventeen is an anti-gay publication. Searching gay on Seventeen.com yields a few basic, yet tolerant, tips and articles about coming out, supporting LGBT friends, and current events about gay rights. These articles exist on the site, though I couldn't find them without running a search. None were linked to from the home page, or the main pages for the heath or dating sections. In my mind, I imagine that every time one of these articles is searched for in the search bar, a snoozing librarian is nudged from her chair and begrudgingly has to go fetch the stack of Gay Articles from some 2' by 2' closet in the back of the Seventeen library.

Anyhow, once I determined that articles existed on Seventeen.com acknowledging the fact that gay teens existed, I was happy to draw the conclusion that the Seventeen editors assume that some LGBT teens do, in fact, read Seventeen. Since Friday's post focused heavily on hard data and statistics, I thought it might be interesting to focus more on feeling and general perception in addressing this issue. Accordingly, to find out what LGBT girls thought of their portrayal and inclusion in mainstream media, I simply chose to ask them.

Through a (mostly open-ended) survey, I asked 40 non-straight young women between the ages of 15 and 19 for their opinions on mainstream media, Seventeen, and how the two outlets address sexual orientation. The format of the survey, which you can view at the above link, asked participants to browse certain sections of the website and then describe their feelings and observations. The word cloud below shows the girls' responses to the prompt, "Describe how you are feeling about yourself after browsing the Dating section of the Seventeen website." Larger words were mentioned more frequently.

It was upsetting to see how many people replied with words like alienated and depressed, but those feelings were far outweighed by the fact that my survey group seemed too smart for Seventeen. By far, the most popular responses were those that took a joke's-on-you stance toward Seventeen's dating advice. Tons of girls were amused, bored, indifferent, and uninterested. Seventeen isn't giving advice to LGBT girls on how to date, but it doesn't see like these girls even would take Seventeen's advice very seriously. In fact, it turns out that they have plenty of other far-better sources for sex and dating advice. Here are their responses to the question, "If you are looking for dating/sex advice, where are you most likely to look?"

Magazines actually made a pretty good showing in this area. Luckily, only 22% of survey participants indicated that they read Seventeen in their spare time; most prefer magazines geared more toward specific interests or adults. Friends were by far the most mentioned source of information. Here are some direct quotes about where they get their sex advice:

• "The internet! The internet has bazillions of informations, so its easier to find the feminist stuff."
• "Feministing.com. It's discreet, fair, and honest. They don't loop groups together and say, 'This is how ALL of you must feel!'"
• "I know enough people of different ages, orientations, and experiences to feel understood and supported from different perspectives when it comes to a dating/sex situation I might want advice about."
• "Progressive sex sites like Scarleteen, Betty Dodson, etc. are my best bet because they are feminist, reality-based, and their duty is to educate people.

Overall, I think that the straight community (i.e. the rest of the world) could learn a lot from this mindset. Because gay teens don't have relevant media being thrown at them by mainstream sources, it seems that they have been far more successful than straight teens in finding good alternatives. Most of the advice mentioned by my survey group is applicable to teens regardless of sexual orientation. I'm willing to bet that a sex-positive website or chat with an older friend would be more helpful in most situation of query than Seventeen.

To close the survey, I asked the interview group about their qualms with how media portrays the LGBT community, and their suggestions on how to fix these issues. Sadly, but not surprisingly, only one girl out of the 40 surveyed found that mainstream media portrayed homosexuals fairly and accurately. To sum, here are the top directives provided by the survey group for improving media portrayal of LGBT teenagers, and LGBT people in general:

• Stop treating bisexual people like sluts who are willing to sleep with anything, or dumb confused people
• Stop simplifying gay problems/gay lifestyles
• Stop using gay and bi people as caricatures/tokens/props
• Consider that not everyone is cisgender
• Gay is not part of a plot line; its just another aspect of what makes up a person

A bunch of people also responded to the survey with information about asexuality. To be honest, I don't know enough about asexuality to write about the topic. This faction of my survey group seemed to express that their biggest concern was with people like me, who lacked even a basic premise of what their sexuality entailed. Anyone who is asexual, or has some reliable information about being asexual, please feel free to discuss in the comments. I'd love some recommended reading on the subject!

I'd also like to thank all the girls who participated in this survey, including Charlotte, Cornelia, Nyxelestia, Jill, Vida, Lauren, Catherine, Michelle, and my friend Laura Ansill. Check out their blogs!

Fashion Sinner

I strayed from the project this morning and wore Birkenstocks to the supermarket. Tomorrow I will be back on the blogging/beauty wagon, promise! Weekend was packed full with graduation parties/other relevant end-of-year celebrating.

Edited to add: Doing some research for a post on LGBT teens in media. Hope to get this post up by tonight. If you want to help me out, send this interview survey to the gay/bi teen girls in your life please! http://tinyurl.com/17magLGBTquiz

"Girls are crazy-- but I love them." -Justin Bieber

If you have been following this project since the beginning, you are probably aware of the fact that one of the original stipulations of this endeavor was that I would hang up any/all magazine photos of Seventeen-approved "hot guys" in my living environment. I haven't paid much mind to this rule on the blog, but I assure you that for the past few weeks I have been living among strangers-- strangers with follicles that swoop, abs that ripple, and eyes like deep pools of money. I, er, meant eyes like deep pools of water. Veritable lakes of teenage seduction.

This month's issue of Seventeen includes a "Free Hot Guy Mag" entitled "Seventeen's Hot Guys of Summer!" This mag-within-a-mag takes the format of dishy interviews in which the guys profiled allegedly share their relationship secrets. Most of these secrets are very guy-centric. The hotties are repetitively asked about their go-to moves, their relationship habits, and their theories on romance. When Taylor Lautner is asked to describe his ideal girlfriend, three out of the four traits end up being things that glorify him, and the odd fourth is one that makes the girl in question look bad. He says, "There are a few things that are important to me in a girl. Honesty, loyalty, the ability to make fun of herself, and the ability to laugh a lot." Obviously these things are important in a relationship, but the fact that the most important things to in his ideal partner include not lying to him, not leaving him, and laughing at his jokes seems to indicate where Seventeen believe women belong in relationships.

I also found it interesting that this piece relies so heavily on the use of the term guy. Upon researching the word, I noticed that many sources were conflicted regarding who you could call a guy. Sometimes the term referred to a man. Other times it referred to a boy. Still other times, its plural form was used to address a group of people of both genders. Seventeen seemed aware of this confusion in choosing the moniker. The age range of the guys in the Hot Guy Mag was fairly wide, especially for a teen magazine. I found it especially bizarre that only two of the guys, Justin Bieber and Nick Jonas, were even in the age range for reading the magazine, ages 12 to 19. What I found weirder, though, is that the largest groups of males featured in the article fell into the two oldest age ranges. This means its possible that the oldest male hottie, Charlie Bewley, could have fathered the youngest targeted Seventeen reader, age 12, when he was 17 years old. This isn't common, but it's certainly not unheard of. I definitely think that the age range skews a little high.

I also sorted the fellows out by occupation. The majority of the guys featured were actors of some sort. A measly two were involved with music. Zero were involved with an occupation outside performance. I know that marketable teen heartthrobs aren't frequently discovered at poetry slams or gallery openings, but its an interesting thing to note.

This last one is just for fun. Must be super weird for devoted Seventeen readers when they finally follows all the tips, achieve the perfect tan and "healthy" sun-kissed glow, and then realizes that the ultimate Hot Guy of Summer is just a sexed-up, long-haired version a of pale, nocturnal Xbox gamer . I'm not saying that pale guys can't be handsome, but the juxtaposition of the two is certainly funny.

Also absent from the Hot Guy Mag is even a slight acknowledgment that some girls might not be attracted to some of these guys, or might not be attracted to guys at all. This article is yet another example of how Seventeen sells teenagers a one size fits all approach to the taste, fashion, and sexuality.

Feel free to email me if you have interest in the raw data these charts came from.

Pretty Privilege

Since eighth grade my friend Dominique and I always discussed hosting a clothing swap. For the uninitiated, a clothing swap is an event to which guests bring their old clothes and swap them for the other guests' castoffs. Getting this event together was something that we were always semi-serious about. We liked the idea of free clothes and recycling, but always had the feeling that these sorts of events were only hosted by rom-com protagonists who somehow lived in Manhattan lofts on cupcake bakery salaries, not mere mortals like ourselves.

With college and summer on the horizon, though, our demand for clothes was increasing and our supply of capital was decreasing. This unique set of conditions allowed us to get into the perfect mindset for organizing a bona fide clothing swap. Coincidentally, I had noticed in one of my frequent perusals of the Seventeen website, that the Green Your Life! section was also pushing for readers to organize swaps.

This double coincidence was rom-com perfect. Dominique and I, along with our friend Mallory, finally organized the clothes swap, which was held last night at the upscale fashion boutique known as MyLivingRoomDiningRoomAndFoyer, thanks in part to the massive cooperation of my mom and dad.

The swap started at 6:00 pm. Between the three of us, Dom, Mal, and I invited about 150 people on Facebook, about half of whom replied attending or maybe attending. Honestly, we had no idea how many people were coming, which was incredibly frightening. Luckily, at 5:45 pm the sky let forth what can only be described as a torrential downpour, which led to only 20 girls showing up. Even more luckily, these 20 girls brought over 2000 articles of clothing. The swap was in business.

I wore a fishtail braid and Seventeen's suggested over-the-knee sock trend, which unfortunately wasn't captured in any photos. Once the swap was in fully swing, guests sorted their clothes and were allowed to take home as much as they felt they were entitled to, based on how much they brought. This system worked out surprisingly well. Uncharacteristic of rom-coms, there was no hair-pulling or cat-fighting between those two girls who both absolutely had to have that one pair of boots/earrings/pants. Everyone was amicable, and everyone who came went home with a big bag of clothes for free.

The swap ended at 9:00 pm and we spent the next hour bagging the unclaimed clothes. Overall, we managed to fill six trash bags with items to donate. Ideally, my friends wanted to give the leftover clothes to thrift stores that benefit victims of sexual assault and domestic violence who live in our region. Upon phoning those stores, I learned that they're overwhelmed with donations, and that a few of them actually send all incoming clothes to India on barges to be recycled. This is ridiculous and incredibly ironic, but I have better things to do than protest women's shelters for their poor environmental practices. I ended up putting the clothes into one of those metal boxes in the YMCA parking lot so that they could go to needy families in the area.

Hosting the swap got me thinking a lot about privilege. In stalking myself and this project a little bit in the press, I've noticed how some people are quick to discredit my opinions based on the fact that I come from a financially comfortable background, with access to opportunity. Privilege is defined as a special benefit not enjoyed by everyone. What I find interesting is the portion of this definition with which people find fault. I've noticed people tend to be more offended by the special benefit part than the fact that this benefit is not equally distributed. For example, I've noticed that people who cannot afford access to a private college are often quick to reject the merits of a private school, instead of considering that it could possibly be beneficial if the opportunity of private college were available to more people. (I am not saying I necessarily agree with either side of this dispute-- I am just saying that the system may not be the problem, but rather the lack of mass access to the system.)

The clothing swap was definitely an event that could only be hosted and attended by people with means enough to have spare clothes in good condition to swap-- people with some degree of privilege. I guess what I'm getting at is that instead of focusing on what opportunities privilege includes, we should be focusing more on who privilege excludes. Instead of calling privilege out as a negative trait, the far more progressive option would be to begin to work on ways to bring the opportunities that privilege provides to more people. By simply reframing the way that we think about and discuss privilege, it would lead to an environment far less conducive to finger pointing, and far more open to problem solving.

Edit: There is some good discussion going on in the comments!

NOT

Next week is finals week, so today I was back in school for my last "real" week of high school-- ever. I decided to try this outfit inspired by Audrey, a member of the Seventeen style council. I actually like the outfit on her, sort of, but I felt really out of character wearing it myself. My dad, who rarely makes any sort of contrary comment about anything I wear, seemed really confused about why I was wearing a shirt under a dress. So did a number of people at school. I know its just a basic layered outfit, but maybe this look is a little fashion forward for my small town. Then again, maybe I just couldn't pull it off. Either way, I don't think it's something I'll be wearing again. Felt a little early Madonna to me. Little bit too bubblegum pop.

Also wore this ribbon updo. This was really well received by all of my friends. I thought to myself, "Maybe I'm finally getting the hang of this 'normal teen' thing!"

Unfortunately, when I visited Seventeen.com to pull the above picture for this post, I realized how inaccurate my feelings were. Of all the beauty tips that I have tried, the one that had won me the most compliments in my personal life was a hairstyle voted as NOT by 82,000 people in the Seventeen world. I can't win.

Tonight I finished my last paper that I will ever have to write for high school, so I should have some time to put together some more in depth posts/projects etc. I've got a couple of interesting things in the works for the remainder of the project, as well as for afterward. Pretty excited...

9 days until grad!

Truant

Today my friend Erinn and I came down with some sudden cases of truancy, took the day off from school, and tried Seventeen's suggestion to go on a tandem bike ride. We couldn't get a tandem bike due to the last minute nature of this excursion, so we rode side by side on individual bikes on the canal towpath in Lambertville, NJ. My camera died on the trail, so our journey is undocumented. This is disappointing, because the recommendation was excellent. I have absolutely no complaints or criticism about it. Thanks Seventeen! I would love to see more things along these lines included in the future issues of the magazine.

In an effort to counterbalance the previous pro-Seventeen paragraph, I will have you know that for lunch I had a massive chocolate ice cream cone into which I dipped curly fries. Afterward, I did not talk about how fat I felt, or how "bad" I was for eating it. I will eat whatever I want in moderation, and I will not let any magazine's limited idea of what is beautiful stop me; I suggest you all do the same, or find another way of thinking that makes you feel good about being you!

Hope those of you currently experiencing summer climates are enjoying the warm weather.... I certainly am!

P.S. My friend Andy is working on an awesome academic project about self-evaluation and realization of power. He is under a tight deadline (Wednesday) and would REALLY appreciate if you could help him by taking his SHORT FUN SURVEY.

Senior Prom: Part 2

This post is part 2 of a 2 part post on prom. Go here for part 1.

90% of getting ready for prom is for the pictures. Once you actually get to the prom, it turns out that its a dark, sweaty room where everyone looks less good within 15 minutes of dancing.

I met my date, a close friend, at his house two hours before the prom start time. We live in a small town, on the same street, in a semi-urban setting. My house doesn't have a yard. His does, so we decided to do our first round of pictures there. My parents, my grandparents, and his mom were there. We did all of the standard prom poses with appropriate teenage awkwardness. We also took some great photos near an open trash can (which are still on his camera), which will probably turn out to be my favorite from the evening, due to their antiestablishment nature. You can save all of your jokes about ginger prom dates, we have heard them all. No, we did not go tanning before prom.

After an hour of picture taking at his house we headed to meet a large group of our friends at Fonthill, a whimsical poured-in-place concrete castle designed by local celebrity Henry Chapman Mercer. There, we had hors d'oeuvres, schmoozed, and complimented each other on how not ugly we all looked. Our parents, collectively, took 800 to 100,000 photos.

Me and Sir Date

Dominique's Boyfriend, Dominique, Me, Sir Mister Date Esq. PhD

A Mass Quantity of My Friends, Airborne

Erinn and her date drove me and my date to prom in her sleek 2000 Jetta. Prom was at a surprisingly nice country club. When we arrived, everyone was herded up a grand staircase to walk past security so that drunk kids could be weeded out and their lives could be subsequently ruined. Luckily, nobody at the prom got busted. This walk was a great opportunity to outfit snark. My date, though not a huge fan of fashion, is a huge fan of film and the Oscars, and he used this opportunity to do some red-carpet style fashion critique. Lots of girls wore looks straight out of Seventeen Prom. Tans were orange, makeup was overdone, dresses were skimpy, and boobs were overly prominent. The majority of people looked great though.

We were required to spend the first hour of prom eating. The menu included a salad, which I didn't touch, sourdough bread, and stuffed shells or lemon chicken. Nobody seemed excited to eat this food. Instead, there was a lot of polite, adult socializing, which was maybe the strangest part of the whole night. After, we were all let into the ballroom and we danced. The DJ wasn't very good, and played mostly oldies. Nothing made me feel closer to my peers than grinding to ABC by the Jackson 5. My date, who doesn't usually dance, danced with me the entire time, and even liked it. The room was a sauna of adolescent awkwardness, and we were very sweaty by the end of the evening. My hair eventually retreated to its natural fur-like texture and triangular shape. I didn't really care though, because I was having a great time.

Afterward, we headed to a party at Dominique's boyfriend's house, where we swam, talked, and stayed up until 5 am. In the morning, we had pancakes. As far as I know, most other social groups did similar things. I am not aware of anyone who died or got arrested. Maybe someone got pregnant, but we won't know for a few weeks. I'll let you know!

When I got home the next morning I was really excited to shower. Looking nice is fun, but after two days of makeup, sweating, and swimming I felt absolutely disgusting. I got home and showered. I pulled off my fake eyelashes, and some of my real eyelashes too. I put on sweatpants. It felt great to feel ugly.

In short, prom was awesome, but one prom per lifetime is probably enough for me. If you are younger than me and you are reading this, I definitely recommend that you go to your prom, but just keep it in perspective.

This post is part 2 of a 2 part post on prom. Go here for part 1.