Senior Prom: Part 1

This post is part 1 of a 2 part post on prom.

Friday night was my senior prom, which meant that Friday day was possibly the most labor intensive and expensive beauty process of my life thus far.

The day started off with school, but seniors and those attending prom were dismissed before lunch to get ready. This, though appreciated, seemed really weird to me. It was one of the first times in my life that looking good officially took a backseat to getting smart.

Thursday night I went to CVS and picked up some things to aid me on my journey to conventional hotness. My purchases included: toothbrushes, lotion, gum, false eyelashes, a loofah, Skintimates shaving lotion, and six blade disposable razors. I charged all of these things to my mother's credit card, and when I got home my mom was mad that I had spent $6.99 for only three razors. "Whatever," I told her. This was probably the first time that I was a brat in the name of silky smooth legs.

I shaved all Seventeen-endorsed parts (legs, pits, bikini-line) in a process that outlasted my hot water heater. I also exfoliated every square inch of my epidermis, lest my evening be overshadowed by the menace of dead skin cells. Then I lubed my body up with lotion and slithered my way out to my nail appointment.

I went with my friend Dominique to get our nails and toes done. By the time that we thought to make our appointments, all of the affordable places around town were booked, so we had to go somewhere on the upper end of the price spectrum. Thus, there were no other prom-goers in the salon when we were, just adult women, who were eager to swoon and squee over our impending prom. We both got french on our nails and Seventeen-suggested pastels on our toes (forgot to take a photo). We read magazines while we got our pedicures, and surprisingly I really enjoyed Lucky magazine, which just focused on fashion, and no bullshit tips on life or love. Lots of pictures of really great outfits, no man candy/diet tips/embarrassing stories. I managed to sit under the dryer for 10 minutes, which of course is never long enough. I walked around with my hands like dino-claws for approximately a half hour after I left the salon in fear of nicking my manicure.

After my nails I headed to meet my other friend Erinn to get my hair and makeup done. I've been going to my salon for about five years, and its one of those social center type salons that usually only exist in movies. As I sat and got my hair done, I knew every single person who came in the salon (ten people?), and I am by no means popular.

I wanted my hair done in some sort of sexy celebrity curls. I pulled a picture from the Seventeen website from an article entitled, "How to Get Bed Head Hair." My bed head hair, obviously, does not look like this. Nonetheless, my stylist did a pretty good job at coming up with something similar for my texture that dealt with the humidity we are experiencing here and my awkward length bangs.

Afterward, I had my makeup done. At this point, I was really tired of sitting, and had no idea what I wanted for my makeup. My general instructions for the day were, "Please make me look conventionally attractive." My only explicit request was false eyelashes. Looking hot apparently required several different layers of various powders and potions. I felt like I had too much makeup on, but everyone in the salon, including my father, assured me that I looked great and not at all tacky, so I just went along with it.

In the salon, I ate a massive chicken salad with guacamole and oranges. A few people made comments about how surprised they were that I was eating on the day of my prom. As far as I was aware, my body still required calories for energy on this day, so I was still going to eat.

At the end of the week, my beauty treatments broke down as such:

Time

Waxing: 20 minutes

Hair Removal/Shower: 1 hour

Manicure/Pedicure: 1.5 hours

Hair: 2 hours

Makeup: 45 minutes

TOTAL: 4.45 hours (I didn't go tanning, I know a lot of people went a few times a week for the entire month before prom)

Money

Dress: $130

Shoes: $42

Jewelry: $42

Waxing: $20

Hair Styling: $70

Makeup Application: $50

False Eyelash Application: $10

Manicure: $15

Pedicure: $40

Assorted CVS Products: $42.50

TOTAL: $461.50

My awesome date paid for my $65 prom ticket, as well as his own. (I offered, I swear, as did most girls that I know.) My awesome mom paid for ALL of the above expenses. The entire cost of this years prom's beauty treatments still managed to cost less than my $500 junior prom dress. I am all about transparency here. This is an entirely ridiculous expenditure, and I am incredibly fortunate to have parents who can afford it.

This entire time-consuming and expensive day led to a lot of discussions in the salon about celebrity. Every single young woman in the salon who I talked to said it would suck to have to go through this beautification process on a weekly, or even daily basis. Makes me feel good, though, that when I see celebrities in US Weekly looking far better than I do, that now I know it is the result of a labor-intensive, time-consuming, and expensive process. Very few people, if any, look like this naturally. Being physically beautiful is truly a job.

Click here for part 2 of this 2 part post on prom.

Your hair is (probably) ugly

This is what my hair looks like naturally:
My hair is not silky. It is not smooth. It is not sleek. You cannot run your fingers through my hair without considerable effort. When I ride in a convertible with the top down, my hair hardly moves, if it moves at all. My hair lacks both luster and shine.

My hair grows wide before it grows long. On rainy days, I sport a halo of frizz. On sunny days, I also sport a halo of frizz. If I wear a hat, there is always the possibility that I will end up with some variation of a Hey Arnold hairdo. It is probable that my hair has more in common texture wise with a golden retriever's coat than it does with any model in a mainstream magazine.

I spent a lot of years struggling to learn to accept my hair. There were definitely days in elementary school when I would come home from school and cry about my hair. Its poofy. Its frizzy. It doesn't cascade or fall down my back and shoulders; it merely rests. When I was younger I went to a Jewish sleep-away camp. The girls in my cabin ritualized hairstyling. There I learned techniques on coaxing my "jew-fro" into a more secular style. When I was 13 I (embarrassingly) spent $700 to have my hair processed with a Japanese hair straightening technique. It didn't work. I still had unruly curly hair, now I just had $700 unruly curly hair.

Hair is something that societies in general ritualize, and not just the image-obsessed Western world. Some groups ritualize it formally, as with the Hindu ceremony of Chudakarana, and some less formally, exemplified by Black hair culture in the modern U.S. It is evident that, as humans, hair represents a lot more to us than just dead cells. Hair represents beauty. It represents power. Hair, or lack thereof, serves to make a statement on who we are, who we want to be, and how others to perceive us.

Whether or not this is fair doesn't necessarily matter. It is a fact with which we must contend to some degree. If we choose not to internalize the importance placed on hair, we must live knowing that others have, and it will affect how we are viewed in their eyes.

What makes this fact worse, at least for me personally, is that media has constructed a dichotomy in which one type of hair is marked as "good," and all other types are designated as lesser. Think about what you wish your hair looked like. Chances are, you probably thought of hair that is shiny, silky, and has a reasonable amount of body. The number of people I actually know with this hair texture I can count on two hands, yet this is the texture that our society has designated as the norm. This is the hair to have, and those of us who do not have this hair type are encouraged to make efforts to get as close as we can to this imaginary standard of average.

This article in Seventeen is a great example of this. The article is a special section for "Thick Waves, Frizzy Curles, or Poufy Hair." There are a lot of things in it that designate this texture of hair as wrong and "the other."

A) Implicit in the title of the article is a belief that thicker hair textures are "misbehaved."

B) Designating this article as "a special section" makes it clear that people with coarser hair are an inferior group. The rest of the magazine addresses normal hair, but frizzy hair girls are relegated to this separate section.

C) The phrase "fall in love with your texture again" implies that there was ever reason to fall out of love with thick hair. It also assumes that most readers have fallen out of love with it.

D) Must-have products include products that give hair smoothness and shine. These are not properties inherent to curly hair. These products are intended to move curly haired girls closer to "average" hair texture, and away from naturally curly styles.

E) Not a single style on this page embraces the natural hair texture of any of these people. All of these styles require blow drying/curling iron/flat iron (except maybe the braid). The bottom of the page is a literal manual on how to make your hair NOT look like its curly. AND every single person on this page is White, thus completely ignoring the fact that non-White readers exist/have hair concerns they may want addressed.

As an experiment I wanted to see what would happen if I tried to do a hairstyle from the normal non-"horrible-and-frizzy-and-totally-unsexy" section. This took me about two hours.

Frankly, I think this hairstyle looks like a community theater left the stage door open and the understudy from Annie escaped. I'm going to sleep on it. I will see how it fares tomorrow.

For some good examples of the "normal" phenomenon in beauty, check out this post on Sociological Images.

All Dressed Up with Nothing to Do

Four days into this project and I have uncovered somewhat of a roadblock. I entered this project with the intention of merging my daily life with a Seventeen lifestyle. This is, however, far more difficult than it initially appeared it would be.

Seventeen is rich with information on makeup and hair and clothes. Inside this month's issue alone you'll find, "645 Ways to Look Cute All Summer!" and "180+ Swimsuits." There is no dearth of tips on what to wear, or even on how to feel confident wearing it. When you strip away all the rail-thin models, heteronormative modes of thinking, and tips not-so-subtly in support of the status quo, what you essentially have in Seventeen is a manual for boosting teenage self esteem. Which is great! If anything hasn't changed about the teenage experience over the past century it is that insecurity is something that nearly every teen girl (and probably every human) deals with at some point.

The roadblock I've stumbled across, though, is now that I am all dressed up and looking cute, what am I supposed to do with my time? Seventeen designates itself as more of a lifestyle magazine than a fashion magazine by including embarrassing stories, celebrity interviews, and articles discussing teenage issues. In offering suggestions for improving my lifestyle, though, I've found the publication to be a little light on the life and a little heavy on the style.

For instance, today I woke up in the morning and got dressed for school. I took fashion advice from the page of "French Nautical" looks, and hair advice from Elisabeth, 17, in Maine, who suggested I wear a high bun because it was, "quick yet elegant and perfect for my low maintenance beauty routine." Then I went to school. Then I came home. Then I had 10 hours of time to fill between arriving at my house and writing this post.

Looking inside the magazine for suggestions of activities to partake in proved to be of little help. The vast majority of the activities offered were some variation on flirting. There were also tips for starting my own business, but I was not looking to pursue an endeavor of such grandiose proportions on a standard Tuesday evening. An article enticingly titled "High Times" actually made efforts to steer me away from smoking pot to fill my time, but failed to offer me even one other comparable recreational activity that I could participate in without the presence of boys, my friends, or some sort of substantial financial backing.

I ended up choosing an activity from one of five solo activities suggested on the, "17 Things You Need to Do This Summer" guide. This guide, tucked away as an afterthought on the last page of the magazine, suggested that I "add pretzels or potato chips to cookie dough and bake." I guess it is assumed that I already know how to make cookie dough, because no recipe was included. I googled a recipe for chocolate chip cookies and made them. I added pretzels. I baked them. The whole ordeal took less than

20 minutes. Then I went into my garage and worked on the bike I'm building, because I couldn't find any other activities in Seventeen that could be enjoyed without significant planning and forethought.

I wholly understand that not every teenager uses Seventeen as a straightforward guide for planning her everyday life. Few do, and I'm glad for this, because magazines are not meant to be interpreted as all-encompassing manuals for living. Furthermore, I am well aware that it is by no means the responsibility of Seventeen to provide teens with wholesome and fun activities to fill every minute of their time with. In fact, being just a magazine, Seventeen has no actual obligations or responsibilities that it owes to its readers. This sort of thing is a huge anomaly in teen life. Schools have curriculums, parents have life lessons to teach, and advertisements have products to push. Seventeen is in a rare position of near ultimate freedom (Near being I understand that the majority of a magazine's money comes from selling ad space.) They should be using this opportunity to encourage girls and young women to lead rich, full lives.

Teens already trust this publication, maybe a little too fully, as somewhere they can turn to for advice. So why not include some advice that might push self-seeking teens to become more than just body-confident clothes hangers? Why not include some book recommendations? Reviews of interesting films? Simple and fun guides to adult activities like home repair, managing finances, and cooking? Or, even more simply, how about a few satisfying, independent activities that teens can do without being surrounded by their peers?

I can understand that not all teen girls are looking to visit a museum or read a critical analysis of Dostoevsky's work. Thats not what I'm expecting, or even hoping for. I just think as teens, young women, and citizens of the world, we deserve something else with our fashion tips. When teens go searching for themselves in media, we have to make sure that what they'll see there is something worth finding at all.

These cookies are veritable hockey pucks. The pretzel is the only redeeming quality. It's also the only part of the cookie I did not make.

Frivolous

Today was my first real fashion day. This is all good and well, except for the fact that it was Sunday, I had nowhere to go. Seventeen Hair Calendar Girl had Sunday blocked out for a backyard BBQ, but all that I had scheduled for today was writing a paper for school, an activity that I usually do in clothes with elastic waistbands.

Anyhow, I ended up going to DSW this morning so I'd have an excuse to get dressed. The real me has been avoiding the ordeal that is shopping for prom shoes, but the Seventeen Me loves shopping and especially loves prom (!!!!).

Today I tackled the "Glam Camp" look from the magazine.

This outfit seemed like a good point of entry since, save for the heels and socks, it isn't that fashion-ey. Socks and heels are not commonly paired here in suburban Pennsylvania, but I thought DSW might be a good place to give it a chance since it seemed probable that the people there might understand fashion (at least from the knees down).

I also tried the "Shine Down" summery makeup look with the "Mermaid Braid" from the "Special Guide for Girls with Thick Waves, Frizzy Curls, or Poufy Hair." I will address this guide in more depth at a later day, because I've got an entire post worth of thoughts on it. For now, here are my efforts...

The general thinking behind magazine makeup seems to be "pack shit all over your face so it looks like you don't have pores." This seems bizarre to me, but I won't claim to "get" fashion. I can appreciate good design, but the notion of adorning yourself makes me feel a little like a commodity.

My mom seems to like this project because it means I am dressing less like an independent bookstore employee/NPR listener and more like a Normal Teen. People in public seem to be pretty receptive to the look too. I definitely felt attractive, but I also felt stupid, because I am not sure what sort of rational person goes to a giant shoe warehouse in heels. Seems frivolous.

I bought three pairs of shoes at DSW..... something about being frivolous also makes you fiscally irresponsible I guess.

Moderation and Limitations

So today was Day 1 of normal teen-ing it. I was supposed to work today, so I got dressed with the intention of punching the clock. I have to wear a white oxford and a bowtie to work, so fashion options were limited. The magazine provided no tips on how to "spice up a tux", and searching "bowtie" on Seventeen.com yielded nothing but a few worst dressed lists.

I had difficulty determining whether or not Seventeen even expects me to work at all. This month's issue does include an article on turning your passion into cash, however, the potential jobs they profiled were more typical of romantic comedy protagonists than actual teens. (Think: baker, artist, animal shelter volunteer) Certainly no bussing tables or McDonald's drive thru. I guess it is positive that they are encouraging girls and young women to pursue entrepreneurship, but I couldn't help but think that the premise of the article sort of marginalized women into Women's Jobs, not just Jobs.

I decided hair and makeup would be the best way to add a Seventeen touch to my uniform. The 7 Days of Beauty weekly hair calendar didn't offer a hairstyle for any day that included working a job. They did, however, offer a hairstyle for a "Mall Run." Presumably the Seventeen reader has money, and from the magazine's lack of an offered hairdo for working, we can assume that she does not earn it herself.

Anyway, I decided to go with the "Internship" hairdo since it was the style that veered closest to Practical Work Hairdo. Apparently, a low knotted pony tells people that I'm "sophisticated and creative." Pity me for thinking that just being sophisticated and creative was indicator enough; now my hair must allude to this fact as well. I also tried to replicate the makeup, and the model's pearl earrings. I will count the earrings as my "fashion" tip for the day, since working severely limited applicable tips.

I also had my nails done today. A tip from Lydia, age 19, in Arlington, Virginia suggested that I paint my nails lavender, a color which she describes as, "a grown-up pink [that reminds her] of all things sophisticated and girly." Something that is beyond me is the notion of conflating sophistication with girlhood. Something that is further beyond me is the association of colors with age and gender. Despite this fact, I now have lavender nails (and I quite like them.)

To top off the entire outfit, I used a vanilla body mist, which Lindsey from Franklin, Tennessee described as "perfect for every day" because "they're not as expensive as perfume, but you can still get the same great scent, so you can use more of it!" (Italics Seventeen's, not mine.) From what I am gathering, the idea of moderation is not a pervasive principle in the teenage beauty/hygiene repertoire.

I am not working tomorrow, so tomorrow will be my first real fashion day.

"I'm buying this for research..."

Even from a young age, I've always been a fan of magazines. They promise this sort of life changing power that, if you're willing to suspend disbelief for the length of time it takes you to read the magazine, always seems to get you pretty (if falsely) excited for life.

This is incredibly bleak. I know.

Anyhow, I got to thinking about the role of beauty/fashion magazines in society, and the industry's intentions. Obviously, teen magazines are not intended to serve as manuals for better living. An informal poll of my friends indicated that roughly 0% of the girls I associate with actually apply the advice they get from magazines to their daily life. Save for the occasional "My-Ear-Got-Deformed-From-A-Cartilage-Piercing" horror story, however, these magazines offer little more than exhaustive lists of how to become cuter/hotter/thinner/fitter/healthier/more popular/etc. So if nobody is applying these supposedly life-changing tips, why are people still buying these magazines? (Cue inevitable: "They're not... print media is dead!") Are we really entertained by lists of makeup tips and pictures of girls in intensely-layered ensembles that we aren't likely to wear? (Guilty pleasure answer: Yes?)

More importantly though, what would happen if an actual teenager were to apply all of these "tips and tricks" to her life? Would it actually improve? Would she actually become cuter/hotter/thinner/fitter/healthier/more popular? Do embodying these traits even make one's life more fulfilling?

This is what I will set out to explore. The goal of this project is to simply explore a dying aspect of teenage culture. I will live my life according to the tips provided by the June/July issue of Seventeen magazine and Seventeen.com from today until the weekend of my high school graduation (June 21). Conveniently, this project will also span the Most Important and Magical Night of My Teenage Life (i.e. senior prom). I will use this blog to record my findings, and to provide commentary on teenage life/the adolescent experience.

Here are the rules of the project:

1. I will read the entire June/July issue of Seventeen magazine from cover to cover.
2. Every day I will utilize at least one "beauty tip" (hair/makeup/skincare/whathaveyou) and one fashion tip.
3. I will follow all diet and exercise tips provided in the issue to a T.
4. I will participate in every activity recommended by the magazine (i.e. host a fright night, score your hottest summer hookup ever, be confident in a bikini, etc.)
5. I will apply for every single "freebie" offered by the magazine, every day.
6. I will consume all media recommended by the magazine at least once. (books/movies/music)
7. I will hang all provided pictures/posters of "hot guys" in my living environment.

Hopefully in following these rules I will be given the opportunity to shed some light on the modern teenage experience. On this blog, I will document my project, as well as offer commentary on media and teenage culture.

Full disclosure, I am probably far too self aware for this project to draw any sort of credible conclusion on the effects of teen magazines on teen girls. An initial "picture walk" of this month's issue seems to point to the idea that sarcasm/cynicism/self-awareness doesn't exist in the sub-21 world. Nonetheless, I am excited to see where this takes me.