Senior Prom: Part 1

This post is part 1 of a 2 part post on prom.

Friday night was my senior prom, which meant that Friday day was possibly the most labor intensive and expensive beauty process of my life thus far.

The day started off with school, but seniors and those attending prom were dismissed before lunch to get ready. This, though appreciated, seemed really weird to me. It was one of the first times in my life that looking good officially took a backseat to getting smart.

Thursday night I went to CVS and picked up some things to aid me on my journey to conventional hotness. My purchases included: toothbrushes, lotion, gum, false eyelashes, a loofah, Skintimates shaving lotion, and six blade disposable razors. I charged all of these things to my mother's credit card, and when I got home my mom was mad that I had spent $6.99 for only three razors. "Whatever," I told her. This was probably the first time that I was a brat in the name of silky smooth legs.

I shaved all Seventeen-endorsed parts (legs, pits, bikini-line) in a process that outlasted my hot water heater. I also exfoliated every square inch of my epidermis, lest my evening be overshadowed by the menace of dead skin cells. Then I lubed my body up with lotion and slithered my way out to my nail appointment.

I went with my friend Dominique to get our nails and toes done. By the time that we thought to make our appointments, all of the affordable places around town were booked, so we had to go somewhere on the upper end of the price spectrum. Thus, there were no other prom-goers in the salon when we were, just adult women, who were eager to swoon and squee over our impending prom. We both got french on our nails and Seventeen-suggested pastels on our toes (forgot to take a photo). We read magazines while we got our pedicures, and surprisingly I really enjoyed Lucky magazine, which just focused on fashion, and no bullshit tips on life or love. Lots of pictures of really great outfits, no man candy/diet tips/embarrassing stories. I managed to sit under the dryer for 10 minutes, which of course is never long enough. I walked around with my hands like dino-claws for approximately a half hour after I left the salon in fear of nicking my manicure.

After my nails I headed to meet my other friend Erinn to get my hair and makeup done. I've been going to my salon for about five years, and its one of those social center type salons that usually only exist in movies. As I sat and got my hair done, I knew every single person who came in the salon (ten people?), and I am by no means popular.

I wanted my hair done in some sort of sexy celebrity curls. I pulled a picture from the Seventeen website from an article entitled, "How to Get Bed Head Hair." My bed head hair, obviously, does not look like this. Nonetheless, my stylist did a pretty good job at coming up with something similar for my texture that dealt with the humidity we are experiencing here and my awkward length bangs.

Afterward, I had my makeup done. At this point, I was really tired of sitting, and had no idea what I wanted for my makeup. My general instructions for the day were, "Please make me look conventionally attractive." My only explicit request was false eyelashes. Looking hot apparently required several different layers of various powders and potions. I felt like I had too much makeup on, but everyone in the salon, including my father, assured me that I looked great and not at all tacky, so I just went along with it.

In the salon, I ate a massive chicken salad with guacamole and oranges. A few people made comments about how surprised they were that I was eating on the day of my prom. As far as I was aware, my body still required calories for energy on this day, so I was still going to eat.

At the end of the week, my beauty treatments broke down as such:

Time

Waxing: 20 minutes

Hair Removal/Shower: 1 hour

Manicure/Pedicure: 1.5 hours

Hair: 2 hours

Makeup: 45 minutes

TOTAL: 4.45 hours (I didn't go tanning, I know a lot of people went a few times a week for the entire month before prom)

Money

Dress: $130

Shoes: $42

Jewelry: $42

Waxing: $20

Hair Styling: $70

Makeup Application: $50

False Eyelash Application: $10

Manicure: $15

Pedicure: $40

Assorted CVS Products: $42.50

TOTAL: $461.50

My awesome date paid for my $65 prom ticket, as well as his own. (I offered, I swear, as did most girls that I know.) My awesome mom paid for ALL of the above expenses. The entire cost of this years prom's beauty treatments still managed to cost less than my $500 junior prom dress. I am all about transparency here. This is an entirely ridiculous expenditure, and I am incredibly fortunate to have parents who can afford it.

This entire time-consuming and expensive day led to a lot of discussions in the salon about celebrity. Every single young woman in the salon who I talked to said it would suck to have to go through this beautification process on a weekly, or even daily basis. Makes me feel good, though, that when I see celebrities in US Weekly looking far better than I do, that now I know it is the result of a labor-intensive, time-consuming, and expensive process. Very few people, if any, look like this naturally. Being physically beautiful is truly a job.

Click here for part 2 of this 2 part post on prom.

Frivolous

Today was my first real fashion day. This is all good and well, except for the fact that it was Sunday, I had nowhere to go. Seventeen Hair Calendar Girl had Sunday blocked out for a backyard BBQ, but all that I had scheduled for today was writing a paper for school, an activity that I usually do in clothes with elastic waistbands.

Anyhow, I ended up going to DSW this morning so I'd have an excuse to get dressed. The real me has been avoiding the ordeal that is shopping for prom shoes, but the Seventeen Me loves shopping and especially loves prom (!!!!).

Today I tackled the "Glam Camp" look from the magazine.

This outfit seemed like a good point of entry since, save for the heels and socks, it isn't that fashion-ey. Socks and heels are not commonly paired here in suburban Pennsylvania, but I thought DSW might be a good place to give it a chance since it seemed probable that the people there might understand fashion (at least from the knees down).

I also tried the "Shine Down" summery makeup look with the "Mermaid Braid" from the "Special Guide for Girls with Thick Waves, Frizzy Curls, or Poufy Hair." I will address this guide in more depth at a later day, because I've got an entire post worth of thoughts on it. For now, here are my efforts...

The general thinking behind magazine makeup seems to be "pack shit all over your face so it looks like you don't have pores." This seems bizarre to me, but I won't claim to "get" fashion. I can appreciate good design, but the notion of adorning yourself makes me feel a little like a commodity.

My mom seems to like this project because it means I am dressing less like an independent bookstore employee/NPR listener and more like a Normal Teen. People in public seem to be pretty receptive to the look too. I definitely felt attractive, but I also felt stupid, because I am not sure what sort of rational person goes to a giant shoe warehouse in heels. Seems frivolous.

I bought three pairs of shoes at DSW..... something about being frivolous also makes you fiscally irresponsible I guess.

Moderation and Limitations

So today was Day 1 of normal teen-ing it. I was supposed to work today, so I got dressed with the intention of punching the clock. I have to wear a white oxford and a bowtie to work, so fashion options were limited. The magazine provided no tips on how to "spice up a tux", and searching "bowtie" on Seventeen.com yielded nothing but a few worst dressed lists.

I had difficulty determining whether or not Seventeen even expects me to work at all. This month's issue does include an article on turning your passion into cash, however, the potential jobs they profiled were more typical of romantic comedy protagonists than actual teens. (Think: baker, artist, animal shelter volunteer) Certainly no bussing tables or McDonald's drive thru. I guess it is positive that they are encouraging girls and young women to pursue entrepreneurship, but I couldn't help but think that the premise of the article sort of marginalized women into Women's Jobs, not just Jobs.

I decided hair and makeup would be the best way to add a Seventeen touch to my uniform. The 7 Days of Beauty weekly hair calendar didn't offer a hairstyle for any day that included working a job. They did, however, offer a hairstyle for a "Mall Run." Presumably the Seventeen reader has money, and from the magazine's lack of an offered hairdo for working, we can assume that she does not earn it herself.

Anyway, I decided to go with the "Internship" hairdo since it was the style that veered closest to Practical Work Hairdo. Apparently, a low knotted pony tells people that I'm "sophisticated and creative." Pity me for thinking that just being sophisticated and creative was indicator enough; now my hair must allude to this fact as well. I also tried to replicate the makeup, and the model's pearl earrings. I will count the earrings as my "fashion" tip for the day, since working severely limited applicable tips.

I also had my nails done today. A tip from Lydia, age 19, in Arlington, Virginia suggested that I paint my nails lavender, a color which she describes as, "a grown-up pink [that reminds her] of all things sophisticated and girly." Something that is beyond me is the notion of conflating sophistication with girlhood. Something that is further beyond me is the association of colors with age and gender. Despite this fact, I now have lavender nails (and I quite like them.)

To top off the entire outfit, I used a vanilla body mist, which Lindsey from Franklin, Tennessee described as "perfect for every day" because "they're not as expensive as perfume, but you can still get the same great scent, so you can use more of it!" (Italics Seventeen's, not mine.) From what I am gathering, the idea of moderation is not a pervasive principle in the teenage beauty/hygiene repertoire.

I am not working tomorrow, so tomorrow will be my first real fashion day.